I started out the year by allowing my friends to help me with the clutter that was built up over 14 years. I still had my art assignments from college stuffed away in portfolio folders that were falling apart, I had clothes and shoes in my closet from the 90s, I had a ton of toy collectibles I bought in the mid 90s to sell on Ebay, but never did. You get the picture. I was looking forward to creating an open space where I could relax, entertain and be more free to create. Shortly after that day, I injured my pinky finger on my dominant hand by accidentally smashing it into a brick wall. My doctor didn't think I broke it, yet it put a hamper on my graphic design and fine art tasks for months. I had a freelance job placement agency working for me at the time, and they told me it was slow because most companies' fiscal year was ending. This was expected, and I was fine with it. I needed time to heal my little digit. (Little did I know that injuring my finger would snowball into more. I manifested underemployment for two years starting from that month!)
A few months later, Spring wasn't the only thing that sprung. I started getting crazy symptoms in my reproductive organs all at once. My uterus prolapsed, I felt like a ping pong ball was in my vagina and I was menstruating nonstop for months. My body appeared to be falling apart and I felt weak all the time. This scared and confused me. I was too young for my body to react this way.
I didn't have insurance, so my GP talked me into going to the County Hospital for treatment. (They offer financial assistance for people who make below a certain amount). They poked and prodded me and assessed I had uterine fibroids, abnormal PAP results, an enlarged cervix and menorrhagia. OK, now that I know what I have, how do I get back to good health? The doctors didn't offer a solution for me besides a hysterectomy and hormone therapy, and I felt those choices were too extreme for me and my body.
Thus, began my quest for alternative therapies. I stopped ingesting birth control pills. I saw a Chinese medicine doctor who performed acupuncture and gave me herbs to take. I consulted with my homeopathic teacher to help me decide what remedies could work. I practiced Spring Forest Qigong daily instead of sporadically, as well as meditation with visualization. I allowed myself to sit in the massage chair, focusing on acupressure. I cut out most sugars and incorporated seaweed and apple cider vinegar in my diet. I was determined to heal myself holistically and naturally instead of surgically and with pharmaceuticals.
I believe all the steps I listed above was responsible for my healing process, but the breakthrough therapy that I give the most credit to is Chunyi Lin's Taoist approach to healing. He taught me that instead of hating the ailments, I must send love to it and apologize to my body for not paying attention to the signs that led me to this point. He says there is no such thing as good or bad energy, but rather too much energy in the body. This creates imbalance and the body gets overwhelmed and can't keep up with healing itself. The key to healing is to get rid of the excess energy so that you are back to being balanced and "just right". I also love that he says there isn't a wrong or right way to perform Chi kung, but rather good/better/best. I like to think that all aspects of life could be seen this way!
I also learned that some (if not all) symptoms are psychosomatic in origin. So I searched for what happened to me in my past that I hadn't let go of, that was related to my stressed out reproductive organs. All kinds of things came up, it was like a Pandora's box. Reasons ranged from being hurt by past relationships, fear of getting hurt now and in the future, family members telling me I wasn't good enough, and the biggie: my subconscious believed I didn't deserve the best. It was time to hit the delete key and do a clean sweep on these beliefs that didn't serve me any more!
In addition to the holistic modalities, I was also practicing the Law of Attraction. I read books and listened to audio by Joe Vitale and Abraham/Hicks over and over, I would envision myself being healthy and happy, with boundless energy. I would watch my favorite tv show of all time, Northern Exposure, and laugh daily. I avoided watching the news or network TV. I figured someone would tell me if something happened that I really needed to know. I would be grateful that I had a support system in my family and friends. Everyone who knew I was sick were pulling for me. I surrounded myself with good vibes and directed my focus toward being happy.
It took about four months of constant self care, but I finally saw my symptoms go away and my energy was returning. I can happily say that my pelvic symptoms are 98% gone today!
I used to think that 2009 ended up being a terrible year. Not only because of the health challenges, but because of the financial ones as well. Now I see that it was the year I learned to heal myself and also to take the Law of Attraction seriously so I can continue to improve myself daily. If 9 is the number of completion, I can see 2009 as representing an old and tired phase of my life, and a new, powerful one taking its place.
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| No such thing as coincidence! As I was looking for an image to go with this article, I remembered that one of my art pieces was titled "Multimedia Mood Plaque #9: Rebirth". My friend Jim would call this a Karmic Circle! :) |
I am forever grateful to my friends and family who helped me on my path to wellness, and thank you to my teachers for showing me how to love myself. Thanks also to those who prayed for me and sent me healing energy.
Life is good!
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